The Audacity of the Extrovert

I’ve mentioned it before but just in case you have forgoten I’m an introvert.  And one thing that introverts enjoy is quiet.  We are often content to sit quietly even in the company of a friend or loved one.  It is enough for us to be in your presence we don’t necessarily need conversation. 

I came in to drive bus this morning like I always do and I exchanged the pleasantries, listened to some of the conversation and joined in when I wanted to and thought I had something to add to the conversation.  As the drivers trickled out I continued to sit there as I am one of the last ones to leave.  Finally it was just two of us.

I was perfectly content to sit quietly gazing out the window and contemplating the deep mysteries of life.  Okay so I was more likely day dreaming but still I was content to sit there quietly.  I enjoy the quiet time before getting on the bus with noisy kids and frankly why do we encourage kids to be extroverts?  But that is a rant er blog for another day. 

So I’m sitting quietly in the break room and I did think I should leave because this last bus driver is an extrovert and apparently an extrovert that cannot stand silence all thought that seems to be the case with most of them.  But then I thought I don’t want to appear rude.  Then the conversation began.

“What do you think of my moose boots?”  at least that’s what I think she said as I was not waiting with baited breath for her to speak but in serious contemplation of life, the universe and everything.

I replied, “Huh?  What?”

She then pulled her leg out from under the table and said, “How do you like my genuine something something Minnesota Moose and Beaver boot.”  I think again I wasn't really listening and can't say for sure but then I some how got drug into a long one sided conversation about her socks that don’t fit, and a missing glove and someone disappearing that can repair Moose and Beaver boots, I think. 

Finally it was time to depart and I was able to extricate myself from this conversation because it was time to leave.  As I was walking out to my bus and on my route it occurred to me that I need a shirt that reads, “Don’t talk to me!  I’m not rude just an introvert.”

Then I thought why are all our social norms and general courtesies based upon extrovert’s preferences?   Why is it considered rude if I don’t respond to a greeting from a stranger?  Why am I considered anti-social if I don’t want to talk to you?  Why would it have been rude to get up and leave while the last bus driver was talking to me?

Then it hit me that most of our social customs are dictated by extroverts, foisted upon us introverts.  Probably because we are pretty good at pretending to greet, listen and acknowledge you while completely ignoring you.

I remember seeing a video of a woman out walking in New York and being spoken to all day long.  Some of the greetings where just hello, good day ect.  Some where inappropriate.  I remember that there were many comments berating the woman for ignoring the pleasant normal social greetings and lots of people complaining about the article complaining that a woman couldn’t walk down the street without being harassed.  I thought about that and I thought to myself why shouldn’t I be able to walk down any street without feeling obligated to engage in any kind of social interaction with people.  Why should anyone feel obligated to respond to a greeting especially one from a stranger?  The reason is because the extroverts have foisted our system of social norms and courtesies upon us.

Now what would be rude is if you greeted me on the street and I told you to get lost or something to that effect.  But to ignore you is to be true to my self.  So extroverts if you are hurt, offended, or just think it’s wrong when someone ignores your greeting, perhaps you need to seek professional help to deal with your low self esteem issues or something.

So if you see me and wave and I don’t wave back and say hi or acknowledge you in some way, it’s not because I don’t like you.  It’s because I was deep in thought contemplating the mysteries of the universe and almost had all the world’s problems solved but your intrusion caused me to loose the answer, or I was trying to remember what my wife told me to pick up at the store.